Page 29 - 15NOV2019E

satire

Surviving in ‘pakoda industry

is like living in a frying pan

t was a great day when I heard about the other day that Pakoda is a great industry.
On a nOt sO the big ‘Pakoda’ industry. No one could And industry needs all the permissions and
seriOus nOte imagine about this multi-million dollar licences. Where is NoC from the Pollution
universal venture till one of our today’s
Control Board? Permission from the Electric-
I erudite leaders gave call to our unem- ity Department, copy of your agreement with
ManMohan Singh ployed graduates to start this most flourishing the truck operators’ union for transporting
business. He was sure that with this business, you the raw material and permission from
our country will be able to eradicate the men- water works department.”
ace of unemployment. And India will be the “But sir I don’t fall in that category” I tried
first nation in the world to do so. It gave me to convince him. “Sir I think he is an ISI
immense pleasure and relief. I haphazardly agent trying to penetrate in our city though
started the search for my orphaned Bachelor Pakoda business,” a constable instigated the
degree lying for years somewhere in the heap head constable. I pleaded, “No sir. I am a poor
of waste papers. With great efforts and lot of educated unemployed youth trying to start
sweating at last I found it. this business on the call of our worthy leader”.
My business was ready at the runway to That constable again intervened, “Hazur you
take off. I selected a roadside place and started remember all the terrorists arrested or killed
putting my gas stove, in encounters recently
utensils and material were ‘unemployed’
to prepare Pakodas. youths. He can be from
No sooner I gave first that gang”.
pump to my kerosene Before I could utter a
stove; our duty-bound word another consta-
police party under the ble raised a point, “Sir
command of a Head he could be a member
Constable surrounded of land mafia. He must
me as if I was a terrorist. be sent to take the pos-
“What are you doing session of this piece of
here on this precious land”.
government land?” “Sir I am a gentle-
roared the mustached man, I have no link with
head constable. I was terrorist or land mafia.”
shocked. I said, “On the I pleaded.
call of our worthy leader, I am starting Pakoda “Oh! You might be right Ramphal we can-
Pakoda industry business to eradicate the curse of unemploy- not take chances. Take him to police station
is keen to hire ment.” Head Constable became apprehensive for further investigation”.
No one listened to me and I was put behind
with my reply. Then he fired another salvo,
talent from “Do you possess proper papers to run this the bars with other hard core criminals and
premier colleges multinational, multi-cultured and multi- some “Holymen” who were cooling their
linguistic business”? I was confused.
heels. The next day’s news headlines read:
and some of the I did not know what he was asking for. He “A hard core terrorist in police net”. The sub
Business Schools again said, “Do you have any Bachelor Degree heading was: “police party under Head Con-
stable Durjan Singh showed great courage
from some recognized and prestigious
in India are university of the country”? My answer was and risked their lives in arresting this terror-
already waiting affirmative. Then he asked me to show the ist. They all will be honoured on the Republic
Day. All the top leaders have appreciated the
licence from industrial department. “It is not
for fresh batch an industry, then why should I take any per- wonderful work of our brave policemen.
mission from department”? I argued. “Don’t
with red carpet try to teach us law I read in the newspaper letters@tehelka.com

tehelka / 15 november 2019 29 www.tehelka.com