Page 25 - English Tehelka Issue 3&4

CoverStory society

are significant factors today even when it comes to states and right-wing groups across the country. A Truly
‘love marriage’. Every now and then there are cases of diktats is-
Dr Surendran further said that it might be pre- sued against young men and women who dare to
mature to judge that choice-based marriages are choose love over the shallow honour of their com-
easier in the urban areas. “While more instances of munities. There have been multiple reported cases
choice based marriages are observed in urban areas, of honour killings by families who believed that Secular Family
the general proscription against choice, especially if their children brought them unacceptable shame by
it implies a marriage outside community or caste marrying someone from another caste out of their
backgrounds, exists even in urban areas,” she said. own personal choice. Across India, caste consid-
erations in marriage and friendships have always
been significant. Chhavi’s case is just one among a
large number of relationships when castes of the “Love looks truely secular Family
man and the woman play a crucial role in their
Despite progress on marriage, often becoming an obstacle in the not with the
couple’s relationship.
The Supreme Court had in January reprimanded
the fronts of education, khap or community panchayats for passing their eyes, but with
technology and the own illegal communal orders against inter-caste the mind, And
marriages of adults. “What we are concerned about
economy, india as is that when an adult girl or boy gets into marriage, therefore is
no khap, no individual or no society can question
them. Whenever there is any kind of collective
a collective society attack on a boy or a girl, who are adults, it is abso- winged Cupid
lutely illegal,” the apex court had said.
continues to be the love Jihad FiasCo

conservative when it The going gets tougher for couples when it comes painted blind.”

— Shakespeare,
comes to culture and to inter-faith marriages. There is ongoing propa- A Midsummer Night’s Dream
ganda against inter-religious marriages, especially
when the woman is Hindu and the man a Muslim or
social norms. a Christian. Cries of ‘love jihad’ have been doing the n these daunting times when inter-
faith marriages are often blown out
rounds in every case where a Muslim has married a
Hindu. Let us assume, for the sake of being open to Iof proportion for their distinctness
dissenting opinion, that there could be the possibil- from societal norms, TEHELKA came
Caste and Religion ity of a secret campaign to convert vulnerable Hindu across a special family in which every Surjit Singh (extreme left) and Aashma Singh (second from left) with their children and their
person is married to someone from
women to Islam or Christianity. However, even then,
still MatteR there are several instances of women, and men, another faith — the father is Sikh, spouses. The family has members from four faiths — Sikhism, Islam, Hinduism and Christianity
being happily married to partners from other reli- mother is Muslim, son is married to a
Recently, 23-year-old Ankit Saxena was stabbed to gions without changing their faiths. Hindu and daughter to a Christian.
death by the father of his girlfriend who was from College sweethearts Kritika Mathur and Sha- Surjit Singh and Aashma Saddulah correspondent while showing sepia- impart any specific religious teachings
another religious faith. The fact that this incident rif Qamar got married in 2015 under the Special (now Aashma Singh) first met in 1974 tinted black-and-white photographs of to our children. We let them believe in
took place in the national capital speaks volumes Marriage Act, 1954, that allows inter-faith court in Dibrugarh, Assam, at a badminton the handsome couple in their youth. whichever faith they wanted to. From
about the state of affairs in the rest of the country. marriage without either spouse having to change training camp organised by the Sports It has been over four decades since a young age, our son was influenced
Marriages in our country have always been ar - his or her religion. Authority of India (SAI). Surjit, who was they tied the knot and continue to by Hinduism and went to temples. Our
ranged keeping in mind strict caste considerations. “My parents were not too happy about our rela- 30-years-old, was 16-year-old Aash- be in a blissful marriage. In fact they daughter chose to convert to Christi-
Dr Surendran points out that “falling in love is tionship but they weren’t against it either because ma’s badminton coach. They soon fell have created a record of sorts as the anity, though it wasn’t a compulsion,
often seen as a transgression of carefully guarded they knew that my happiness depended on it. How- in love and got married two years later spouses of both their children follow when she was getting married and we
caste and community lines. Contemporary instances ever, Kritika’s mother was quite vocally against our under the Special Marriage Act, 1954. different faiths, neither of them being let her go ahead,” Surjit Singh said.
of violent repercussions to choice based marriages plan to get married,” Qamar, currently working with “His parents were aware of our Sikh or Muslim. Their son Tanvir Gill, a Asked if they believe religion plays
are cases in point, as they are seen as challenges to The Energy and Resources Institute (TERI), told courtship but I was too young and my businessman, is married to a Hindu — a significant role in a marriage, he
social order.” TEHELKA. After the couple convinced both families father too strict, so I kept our relation- national-level badminton player Mo- quipped, “What is the guarantee that
This is certainly evident from the hounding of to accept their union, they decided to get married in ship a secret from my family till we got hita Sahdev, while daughter Karishma in a same-religion marriage the couple
couples, who cross the limitations of caste and court and then throw a reception, rather than per- married in court. Even after they got is married to Leon Quyn, a Christian will be happy?”
religion, by khap panchayats in a few north Indian form any religious wedding ceremonies. to know, there was no opposition and from Sri Lanka. —Ridhima malhotRa
no filmi drama,” Aashma Singh told this “We never made any effort to letters@tehelka.com

tehelka / 28 february 2018 24 www.tehelka.com tehelka / 28 february 2018 25 www.tehelka.com

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