Page 59 - 15OCT2018E
P. 59

COLUMN




                                                                               After all Achhe Din were here
 Can we have a religion-free                                                 now. I was feeling more proud
                                                                             to be Indian now. Where else on
                                                                             this globe will you find people
 and love-filled nation?                                                     blocking all roads for ritual prac-
                                                                             tices? And where else will you find
                                                                             people who love animals so much
 It’s high time the government and the legal houses should give us the       that they are ready to kill even
                                                                             humans?
                                                                               “This year India must get the
 BEING YOU  right to decide if we want to indulge in any religious activity or we want    UNO title for the Most Animal-
 to sleep tight and move freely on roads
                                                                             Friendly Country,” she thought.
 YASHICA                                                                       “No other country has so much
 JALHOTRA                                                                    of purity in religion, love for ani-
 nswer a question this time.   sound pressure measurement for the            mals and respect for women? India
 Do you feel that the gods   evening.                                        must get some award”
 The writer, Editor   became really happy and   And how can I not mention the big   We are made more of religion
 (Digital Media),    reserved a ‘tathaasthu’ award   generators that were kept moving along   and less of love.
 is noted for giving   A for you when you paraded   with thousands of people to feed power   The madness for religion scores
 witty tips on lifestyle,   them on Ganesh Chaturthi? Oh by the   into the high voltage lights and sound   very high when it comes to testing
 health, love, parenting,   way, this requires an ASAP answer —    systems. But the other agenda of these   Indians.
 behaviour, inner-  before all the maulavis and pundits    portable electricity manufacturers was    A little piece of land, be it a
 self, spirituality,   initiate a fatwa or issue a look out notice   to add some more fumes into the Delhi   mosque or mandir is sufficient
 beliefs,relationships   for me.  air so that Delhi pollution keeps on get-  to boil our blood and kill a few fel-
 and everything else   Though this time too, I have again   ting its importance until next elections.   low Indians. And if one day we don’t
 falling under the sun.  ordered few helmets and safety nets,    Do I also need to talk about Swachh   have a piece of land to showcase
 but I doubt if these Chinese precaution-  Bharat?                           our love for our religion, we have
 ary measures will be even helpful to   Well, it took me no time to understand   animals to fight for. So basically we
 safeguard me. For our religious leaders   that I myself was now a participant in    keep our hands busy
 are far more powerful than Chinese   the procession. Being Indian, I had    in proving our loyalty for
 helmets. Kya bolu, Itni maar padne wali   become almost accustomed to such    our religions.
 hai. Better you also order with me. You   religious rituals where gods are exhib-  Have you also experienced a
 may also come under attack for reading   ited, dressed with colourful clothes,   time when you have been stuck
 something written against the religious   beautified with ornaments and weap-  in the traffic caused due to Nagar
 and cultural norms. Or discount bhi    ons, worshipped with flowers, fed with   Kirtan or Ganesh Chaturthi.
 mil jayega!  sweets, bathed with milk, immersed in                            If not this, you must have a mem-
 It was a usual Sunday when I start-  water and taken on roads like it was    ory about Mata Ki Choki or Jagran
 ing driving towards the nearest park to   happening now.                    held in your neighourhood where
 practice running for my next marathon.   It was a perfect cocktail of gods. There   all the bhajans were well tuned on
 A little piece   I was hardly a few meters away from my   were different horse carts with different   latest Bollywood numbers. There
                                                                             are other dozens of examples which
 gods. One after the other, all gods came
 home, when I was forced to raise ques-
 of land, be it a   tions about the nature and existence of   one by one. I was wondering if any new   prove religious interference in our
 mosque or mandir,   gods in India.   gods were added and I am not even      lives and that we have been accept-
 There was a huge crowd of people
                                                                             ing it all throughout our lives.
 aware of.
 is sufficient to boil   which was more than enough to block all   “Would the gods forgive me for this    It’s high time the government
 our blood and kill a   the wide roads of Delhi; music adequate-  sin?” — I decided to ask for anticipatory   and the legal houses should give
 forgiveness there and then only as this
                                                                             us the right to decide if we want to
 ly loud to reach the pain threshold level
 few fellow Indians.   range of your ears but yet not earsplitting   was the best place to plead.   indulge in any religious activity or
 Happy now to have successfully done
 And when it’s not   as to move the Indian authorities to take   my part, I tried to make some more room   we want to sleep tight and move
                                                                             freely on roads.
 any action against the producers of this
 a piece of land   noise pollution.  for my car in the crowd. There seemed
 While this was not sufficient for the
 to showcase our   organisers of the tableau (jalsa), they   to be a clear cut competition between    Yashica Jalhotra was just found doing
                                                                               her running practice with helmet on
 the women of all age groups. From
 love for, we have   had also hired uniformed band baja and   high end dresses to cut style jewellery.    her head. Send her some suggestions
                                                                               how to boost her security at letters@
 I wondered if our film industry even
 baraat people along with their gadgets so
 animals to fight for  that more decibels can be added to the   needs Rohit Bal?  • Patience in ICU  The madness for religion scores very high when it comes to testing the patience of people  tehelka.com
 TEHELKA / 15 OCTOBER 2018  58  WWW.TEHELKA.COM  TEHELKA / 15 OCTOBER 2018  59  WWW.TEHELKA.COM
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