{"id":17079,"date":"2011-08-13T08:24:52","date_gmt":"2011-08-13T08:24:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/beta.tehelka.com\/?p=17079"},"modified":"2011-08-13T08:24:52","modified_gmt":"2011-08-13T08:24:52","slug":"how-dirty-dancing-saved-my-life","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/tehelka.com\/how-dirty-dancing-saved-my-life\/","title":{"rendered":"How Dirty Dancing Saved My Life"},"content":{"rendered":"

Exotic dancing can be both sexually liberating and fracturing.\u00a0Aastha Atray Banan\u00a0<\/strong>meets the proud and shy ladies who take these dance classes<\/em>
\n

\"Grooving<\/a>
Grooving Meena Bagai shows her moves
Photo: Apoorva Guptay<\/figcaption><\/figure>
\nBEFORE SHE<\/strong>\u00a0won that naked man called Oscar,\u00a0Juno\u00a0<\/em>screenplay writer Diablo Cody wrote the acclaimed book\u00a0Candy Girl:<\/em>\u00a0A Year in the Life of an Unlikely Stripper<\/em>, where she said: \u201cFor me, stripping was an unusual kind of escape. I had nothing to escape but privilege, but I claimed asylum anyway. At 24, it was my last chance to reject something and become nothing. I wanted to terrify myself. Mission accomplished.\u201d
\n<\/strong>Unlike Cody, 48-year-old Meena Bagai sought exotic dancing as a way to become \u201csomething\u201d. We\u2019re in her expensive Lower Parel penthouse in Mumbai as she poses with a bright feather boa, eyes closed, moving her shapely hips to Nirvana\u2019s\u00a0Come as You Are<\/em>. Much like the 1930s\u2019s dancer Gypsy Rose Lee who emphasised the \u201ctease\u201d in \u201cstriptease\u201d, Bagai\u2019s ease almost make you forget that her son and daughter-in-law are busily lunching on Sindhi food just two feet away. It doesn\u2019t feel surreal at all. Not after hearing her speak about her dancing for the past hour.
\n<\/strong>\u201cI often see myself as an actress who\u2019s super sexy when dancing,\u201d Bagai flashes a charming smile. \u201cI was dancing with girls half my age but I realised soon that my body was as sexy as anyone\u2019s. I feel so desirable \u2014 and I don\u2019t need a man to say it. Just look at me.\u201d Bagai belongs to a group of women who take classes to learn exotic dancing to help them get their sexy back. Some do it in secret, some like Bagai are proud of it. Many have been doing it for years.
\n<\/strong>Often these classes are pitched (and gratefully accepted) as exercise routines \u2014 of pole dancing, lap dancing, burlesque and striptease. Instead of treadmills and weights, you roll your hips and try to make your body flow like a wave. Your rear sashays, your bosom heaves and your hands float. You might also throw in some pelvis grinds. Sometimes you use props \u2014 don\u2019t worry, they\u2019re not men \u2014 hats, walking sticks, feather boas, chairs and poles. But none of it is complete without the swept-out hair, the pout and \u201ccome hither\u201d eyes.
\n<\/strong>Bagai\u2019s teacher Shilpa Rane, 37, is a Mumbai-based professional instructor of exotic dancing who\u2019s taught almost 200 women in the past three years. Rane remembers learning the dance in London from a professional pole dancer and being intimidated, even though she\u2019d been a fitness expert for many years. \u201cThe kind of attitude these people exude is unbelievable,\u201d she enthuses. \u201cOnly getting in touch with that hidden sensual side of yourself helps get it out. Though I was so fit, I never ever felt sexy. And somewhere I wasn\u2019t even allowed to \u2014 because being sexy also meant \u2018easy\u2019. But this dancing made me realise what nonsense that was. That\u2019s what I tell my students. Whatever you look like, you can be sexy. Just let go.\u201d
\nSOME OF<\/strong>\u00a0Rane\u2019s students, though, are not so sure. They say they\u2019ve gained a new respect for their bodies after watching themselves writhe openly in front of a mirror but they\u2019re still nervous about social ostracisation, about being slotted into unpalatable \u201ccategories\u201d of women. Advertising professional Simran Kapoor (name changed<\/em>), 25, says the dancing has given her confidence but she doesn\u2019t want to grab the wrong kind of attention by discussing it with people \u2014 it still makes her squeamish as she tries to square it with her middle-class Punjabi background. But somewhere deep inside, she says, she\u2019s also glad to be a naughty girl. \u201cI know now that at a party I can woo a boy by using my moves. And once I have a boyfriend, obviously I will use the stuff,\u201d she winks. Then she adds more seriously, \u201cIt\u2019s not about being perfect, it\u2019s about being your kind of sexy.\u201d
\nAnother iteration is Namita Sharma (name changed<\/em>), an outgoing 28-year-old who says she never worries about what people think of her \u2014 except that her conservative Rajasthani parents would probably be shocked if they found out she was doing such dancing. Her husband knows but she\u2019s never danced for him \u2014 Sharma insists she\u2019s taken the classes only for herself. \u201cI\u2019m a modern Indian woman and so I had major fun pretending I was a showgirl. But finding out your daughter wants to be sexy is not cool for parents, right?\u201d she says. Then she switches back to her dare-all self: \u201cWhat it taught me was that if I wiggle my hips or flaunt my boobs, I\u2019m not a slut. I already knew that but now I know it for sure. Get that?\u201d
\nBagai is still grooving to Nirvana and looking out at her fabulous city view with a dreamy look. Who is this well heeled Mumbai woman who is getting her groove back with these exotic dances? Who is Meena Bagai? She got married at 19, got pregnant and was divorced in her 30s. So is this enough for us to psychologise her need to be sexy again? Let\u2019s try: Just before her divorce, she lost her younger brother, faced the prospect of looking after a son who suffered from a hearing disability, and fell into depression. So is she now just trying to escape her life\u2019s heavy baggage? One more time: She works for her father\u2019s travel company, is a mother-in-law who hates cooking and loves to shop at Zara. So is she to be blamed for betraying the decorum of the upper classes?<\/p>\n

\u2018Now at a party I can woo a boy with my moves. And once I have a boyfriend, obviously I\u2019ll use the stuff. It\u2019s about being your kind of sexy,\u2019 says Simran<\/strong><\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

\u201cI know I\u2019m not interested for sure, but I get so many friend requests on Facebook \u2014 men, mostly. They keep asking me to put more pictures. Isn\u2019t that so flattering? I love the camera. I love getting pictures taken. And they will be on my Facebook the next day itself. I look like my daughter-in-law\u2019s sister,\u201d laughs Bagai. Vanishkha, her 20-something daughter -in-law, grins in approval. Clearly, family support matters when you\u2019re trying to feel sexy and not care what people think. \u201cI saw a different side of me when I danced, and I knew that only I and my body could keep me happy,\u201d continues Bagai. \u201cI was swaying my hips and they looked as if they belonged to Marliyn Monroe. That\u2019s the greatest gift.\u201d
\nAastha Atray Banan is a Senior Correspondent, Mumbai with Tehelka.<\/em>
\naastha@tehelka.com<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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