Aah! They are here again. Can’t they choose a better time to come? It’s been a celebratory and joyous time for the last three months and now suddenly I have to become serious, focused and boring. I celebrated New Year until Lohri and then I looked forward to Holi in March. Where do the horrible exams fit in all these happy moments?
“Oh! By the way I forgot tell that Arpit has stormed into my house. Yes. Yet again. Do I need to tell you that this time his latest subject of cribbing is exams?”
Me: But why do you have to be sad during exams? Why can’t you be as joyous as you were during celebration?
Arpit: As if you have never appeared for any exam in India. Do you think what you saying is practical?
Me: Yeah. But.. Listen. May be…
So, he had a point and I was short of words.
Before I could even engage my mind in fabricating a false happy education system of India, he was all set with his speech against the Indian methodology of imparting education to children and adults. At first I thought he had prepared an essay for his upcoming English Board Exam but he just went on and on. I just wanted to tell him that he has already spoken enough to get ten out of ten marks, that if he utilizes his intelligence in studies he will get not good but great marks. But I didn’t dare to utter a single word as it would lead to another discussion and would take away another one hour of mine, along with two more cups of tea from my kitchen.
And finally when he went back to his place I was left with just one thing— stress. What do you think his long, unstoppable complaints against teachers, parents, authorities and his own friends would have given me? For the first time, I realized the true meaning of the saying-
‘You become what you are surrounded with’
But that also made me think if I am so stressed with a once in a while talk about studies, exams and the education system then what would be the condition of students who are constantly experiencing the pressure, constant sermons, comparisons with other students, negative influences, sarcasm, unrest and tiredness.
There was a time when one wouldn’t hear words like ‘stress’ and ‘depression’ until spending 50 years of his or her life but now every other person and child is stressed. The parents are stressed so the child is stressed. The child is stressed so the parents are stressed. This is a viscous loop and exams are playing the role of the lifeline of this loop.
And on top of it, parents and children are constantly being exposed to news, social media and suggestion and advices given by peers and relatives. What I mean to say is that in reality exams may not be tough but the information and energies surrounding the students become so stressful and negative that exams become a demon for them.
And the worst part is that this fear, stress and anxiety are not helping them in mastering the syllabus and then they become more stressed. This again goes on in a loop.
Here, I present some humble suggestions for the children and parents which might help them during stressful times:
Understand what makes you stressed: Sometimes it’s not the exam which is troubling you but some other thought or experience. Find out the original cause of your pain and instead of putting it on exams deal with it directly. Are you really stressed or is it just that everyone around you is making you stressed? Ask yourself.
Listen to the PM: When even the Prime Minister of your country wants you to be stress-free during the exams, don’t you think you should at least listen to him? PM Modi has been stressing on stress-free exams and has even written a book ‘Exam Warriors’ in which he advises parents and students to face exams sans stress.
Get educated in the power of the mind: If it’s not exams it will be something else. Life may be full of challenges. You and your child need to learn how to handle every situation. That’s where education in the power of mind comes. Your mind has the capacity to give you stress or happiness from the same event. Get this power
Accept challenges with a smile: It is what it is. Frowning is not going to benefit you in any form now but smiling can. Be more joyful and see how things start happening for you.
Believe in your success: Adopt ‘NO Matter what comes’ attitude. If you have unconditional belief in your success, no fear or stress can ever come near you. Develop the attitude of believing in your strengths and capabilities. You have all the resources you need to excel in life. Exams are just a testing phase like other challenges which may come later in your life. And you know what. You can clear all!
Yashica Jalhotra’s boss has given her another ‘stressful’ project and she was just seen taking out a depression pill from her drawer. Send her some wisdom, I mean letters at letters@tehelka.com
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