
TEHELKA reporters spoke to dozens of men across strata and age and region and class, asking them how comfortable they felt with ideas of freedom for women, whether they held women and modernity responsible for rape and other forms of sexual crime; whether they believed rape was more prevalent in cities than villages; and how far they felt popular culture was responsible for a perceived sense of moral decline in society.
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Haryana |
Maharashtra |
Karnataka |
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| Madhya Pradesh |
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| Tamil Nadu |
[Cover Story] Rape. And how men see it
Dozens of conversations provide a fascinating window into the psyche of the Indian male. Some of it dark. Some of it hopeful. By Shoma Chaudhury Read More>























Wow. A big bunch of 18th century rape-justifiers are here.
Nothing surprising – considering that we are largely an 18th century country, populated with the illiterate, barely literate and literate-but-retarded.
There is no reforming these people. They would prefer that a women who steps outside their framework – Lakshman Rekha – be raped than examine their idea of whether a woman is a human being or not. They would blame it on western civilization, short clothes, and if nothing works, movies (like when they are talking about rapes of children or old women). And of course there will be no mention at all about rapes within the family by fathers, uncles, cousins and the often silent and sometimes active participation of the mothers.
There is no fixing this either. The problem that we are talking about it widespread, and you can fix it only over a generation. You have to wait till these people die. We are talking about some 40-50 years.
The cities, you can perhaps bring in a semblance of normalcy by tightening policing. After all, what all criminals – even the ones who take recourse in ancient culture – fear is the law. In the cities, with its dense populations, it is possible to scare them into behaving like civilized people. But in the villages and rural areas? In Bharat? Nothing doing. They will keep raping, justifying why they rape, will keep rape within the families silent, and will take recourse to any line in any religious book, or any senile guru, to justify it.
Report: ‘India: 6 Held Over New Gang Rape On Bus in Punjab’ – uk.news.yahoo.com
I wonder how many people in Britain and around the world understand just how many wives die in ‘kitchen fires’ in India. Possibly the same in Pakistan and Bangladesh too. It’s all to do with inadequate dowries. It’s probably thousands every year. How many female foetuses are aborted?
Another gang rape it seems then in India, and not long after the other that has caused such a stir internationally. Is this all really new, or is it just that it has recently become news? How many women there have reported such serious crimes to the police in the past only to be waved away? It wouldn’t surprise me if ‘some’ members of the police, ‘some’ notoriously corrupt, give the rapists a pat on the back or at least turn a blind eye.
Unless and until men from that entire sub-continent (and plenty of other places around the world) change their attitudes and treat women with respect and dignity they remain a bunch of conceited, mother-fixated misogynists. And that in the case of some is quite clearly a far too lenient description. That is putting it very mildly indeed.
This will of course be deeply offensive and wholly unfair on many Indian men but then that is the point. To them I say this: you must finally stand up and speak up against those amongst you, including powerful figures and priests if necessary, who support this kind of behavioiur, or who at least condone it through inaction. Passive acquiesence is sometimes akin to shared guilt.
Shun such people and hold them to account before the law. Ban them from your temples, they pollute the holy ground with their presence. This sort of thing must no longer be tolerated. And it is you who must put a stop to it by changing your culture to honour women as something other than mere chattels and objects of desire. Is the feminine not widely honoured in your religion (in Hinduism at least)? Enough of this medieval barbarity.
One other thing: there are plenty of faults in the West and plenty of inherent problems humankind faces with the march of modernity. But don’t use that to excuse yourselves of your own individual and collective sins and to avoid doing what you must do. There has been far too much blame of that kind for too long. And don’t blame Britain as the former colonial power for everything either. We left over 60 years ago. This is your very own home-made problem, born of your own cultural history and traditions. Accept responsibility for your actions and for your own wrong-doing. Then do something to put it right.
This does not mean that everything from the past should be mindlessly thrown out, that is certainly not required and in fact you will probably have found that such a process has already long been under way. But it does mean a major long-term commitment to educating people that such behaviour is wrong. Sadly the innocent majority get tarred with the same brush. Such education must of course be backed up in law. In terms of karma it bodes very badly for the perpetrators, but then people in India ought to know this very well by now.
We seem to be headed towards a culture war. There is a minority class (Chetan Bhagat calls it the Threes in his latest blog) in this country that has a shrill voice but little grassroots connectivity. This class believes we belong to a culture that is decadent and way past its time. Its very keen to absorb all that comes to us from the west. But it fails to take into account the fact that as a civilization our ideas have survived longer than any other. Granted some of these ideas have been mutated way beyond recognition and this mutation leads to horrific gender crimes. But some of these ideas are nevertheless responsible for our culture of tolerance and peaceful co-existence that allows a popoulation of 1 billion to liver together. It is not for nothing that these ideas are deeply entrenched within our society and find reflection in the utterances of our religious and political leaders. We certainly need to work on getting rid of the mutations. But the way is hardly by rejecting our heritage. Instead we need to be pushing for social reform. This is the path adopted by the greatest reformers this country has seen whether it be Rammohan Roy, Vivekanand or Gandhi. The realty shows one sees on TV are not pushing for a reform agenda. They seem to be pushing for a complete rejection of all that is traditional. That approach is simply unworkable. There is a a large majority in this country that swears by tradition. We must also appreciate that as women get more empowered families will tend to break apart. Incidents of divorce will go up. Expereiece of western countries supports this observation. Is our society geared up for that sort of change? Do we have the social support mechanisms that the smaller and richer societies of the west seem to support broken homes? These are not easy questions. But they do raise the point that ideas of gender equality can not simply be imported from another part of the world
Women can solve all their problems (not just rape) in a few days! There is no point in begging to our male counterparts. We are a sleeping lioness, ignorant of our own might. FIRST, Let us be aware of the truth about ourselves.
Many of us know that most of the diseases are psychosomatic. It means diseases are the outward manifestation of the faulty attitude within. This is true of social ills too. Collectively viewed, human society is like an individual. Its thinking pattern precedes all its ills. Disease will manifest itself in varying degree. The gruesome act of a 23-year old woman being gang-raped in Delhi is the most perverted form of its manifestation.
Before seeking its root cause, it will be good to seek the real worth of woman. WOMB + man = woman, a co-creator with God. We all—men and women—owe our existence to her. Most of the Indian languages have thoughtfully coined the word Sthree for woman, meaning three good qualities—she nourishes all her children with CARE, endures all her pains with COURAGE, and showers all those around her with COMPASSION. Obviously, woman is stronger than man, a fact that was personally experienced by Jesus Christ himself.
Jesus trained 12 MEN and performed many miracles before their eyes. But at the time of his direst need, they chose to keep away/flee, leaving him alone. However, at that great crucial, perilous time “MANY WOMEN” accompanied him ‘caring for his needs,’ and stood by him till he breathed his last. (Matthew 27:55) It is no wonder that Jesus chose a Samaritan woman (who was a victim of inhuman male domination) to reveal the most important subject—truth about “true worship” [viewing God, the Supreme Spirit, as our Father, and humans as equal]. (John 4:1-42) Again, it was a woman (Mary Magdalene), one of those “MANY WOMAN”, that Jesus appointed to deliver the news of his resurrection to the men.—John 20:1-18.
In the Hindu concept, woman is Parashakti, meaning ULTIMATE energy and power. The whole nature is referred to as woman. Anusuya, wife of Atri Maharishi, is presented as the model of chastity. She was like a diamond which breaks even the hammer that hits it. She proved stronger than even the gods who came, in disguise, to tempt her, transforming them into babies on account of the glory of her chastity. RAMAYANA highlights Rama’s war which was fought to recover Sita, His wife. MAHABHARATA war was fought for protecting the modesty and chastity of Draupathi, the wife of Pandavas. Major things in our lives like education and wealth are represented by Goddesses Saraswathi and Mahalakshmi respectively.
History books testify that whenever an opportunity was given women showed their real power—even better than men. To mention a few: Hatshepsut (the female pharoah of Egypt), Zenobia (Queen of Palmyra), Empress Wu of china, Queen Elizabeth I of England, Catherine the Great (empress of Russia), Lakshmibai, the Rani of Jhansi, Mrs Indira Gandhi of India, Mrs Gold Meyer of Israel, and Mrs Thatcher of England, Angela Merkle of Germany, Helen Keller, Mother Theresa, Amrutananda Mayi, Joyce Mayor, Kalpana Chawla ….
In India, the decline came after the foreign invasions, which left their own legacy of viewing woman as secondary citizens only to serve the men folk. In the modern time, bulk of the entertainment industry and advertisement industry present women as simply a piece of flesh, as an object of a sensual pleasure for men. This creates an atmosphere for men, in general, to conveniently forget the real value of woman: she makes the house as a home of the heart lit. Leaving the comforts of her own home and hearth, she comes into a new family of her husband only to find never-ending work, serving her home and guests alike. Yet men treat this homemaker EXTRAORDINAIRE as sub-ordinary, call her weak, which in turn encourage some of the men, even juveniles, to make advances towards her—mildly or wildly as happened in capital city last month.
Hence include the truth about women in the school text books which will inculcate in the minds of youngsters respect towards women. In a male-dominated society, it is unlikely that it will happen. Hence why can’t you, all women in India, think of ruling India? Woman population in India is 59.14 Crore! Let us unite and show the men-folk how to rule. Here is the road-map:
Let representatives of all able women—from teachers to top bureaucrats, including the retired ones—come together and discuss the practical modalities for forming a political party EXCLUSIVELY for women. All women in the country should be informed about this using all means of communication—including house-to-house visits on houses not covered by ordinary means of communication.
Step 1: Let all women be formed into a basic unit of 10 members—thus you will have 5,91,40,000 units or teams. Each team will have one leader for one year, and thus all of them will become leaders in 10 years on rotation, in alphabetic order. If any one does not like to be the leader, any willing member can take up that additional privilege—and in case of more than one willing ones, matter can be determined by lot.
Step 2: Let each leader of the basic teams be further formed into Team B of ten members, and you will have 59,14,000 units. Leadership rotates in alphabetic order.
Step 3: Let each leader of Team Bs be further formed into Team C of ten members, and you will have 5,91,400 units. Leadership rotates in alphabetic order.
Step 4: Let each leader of Team Cs be further formed into Team D of ten members, and you will have 59,140 units. Leadership rotates in alphabetic order.
Step 5: Let each leader of Team Ds be further formed into Team E of ten members, and you will have 5,914 units. Leadership rotates in alphabetic order.
Step 6: Let each leader of Team Es be further formed into Team F of ten members, and you will have 591 units. Leadership rotates in alphabetic order.
Step 7: Let each leader of Team Fs be further formed into Team G of ten members, and you will have 59 units. Leadership rotates in alphabetic order.
Step 8: Let each leader of Team Gs be further formed into Team H of ten members, and you will have 5 units. Leadership rotates in alphabetic order.
Step 9: Let each leader of Team Hs be further formed into Team I, and you will have 5 women. These five will form the GOVERNING BODY of the party (you name it something like AIWP: All India Welfare Party. Leadership rotates in alphabetic order. They will have powers over any leader/s of any teams. They will be able to do any adjustments with organisational structure or policies, according to their dynamism. If something need to be communicated to all women in India, it can happen in few minutes. Team-I sends a message to all leaders of Team Hs; Leaders of Hs forward the message to all leaders of Gs… till it reaches the basic unit. In other words, when a leader communites to the 9 members of his team, all are informed.
Once organised in this fashion, you go for election. You will have the ABSOLUTE majority, and will perform an envious rule—a Golden Era—for India. This will inspire the men-folk to follow the suit. (Gita 3:26) Next term they will rule. This rotation will go on forever and ever with each rule competing to outshine the other in quality. This can even inspire other countries of the world too.
I am an old woman—you can call me MAMMA. My days are numbered, my role ends here. I have given you a road-map for your own safety and welfare. It is left to you— you have the potential to work out a modality for its effective implementation. May God Almighty bless you!